New Victoria Case Stamp Release & BLOG CANDY!

Good morning fellow scrappers. Are you ready for another fun release from Victoria Case? I can't wait to see what the talented Ms. Victoria has in store for us on the release date of July 30th. On top of this MUST HAVE stamp set you HAVE TO ENTER THE MAGNIFICENT BLOG CANDY over at the SCACD store blog. You will need to follow the instructions and your first stop AFTER the store blog will be the lovely Addy at Victoria Case Stamp Designs.

I personally own several Victoria Case stamps and one of my favorite line is Hearts and Hugs Collection. I love 'Little Diane'! Isn't she just the cutest thing you've ever seen?

So get on your scooter and ride over to the SCACD Store Blog and the Victoria Case Stamp Design Blog to start you candy journey! I hope you win!!!!

Stepladder Card

A few weeks ago I took a class on how to make these fabulous stepladder cards. I totally love this card and I am having a hard time parting with it to give to a friend. The first art is the separate piece that fits into the folds of the card. This is white on the back and so this is where the sentiment goes. Yes, I know my bow isn't perfect. The embossing was done on the cuttlebug.



This next one shows the card layout without the insert piece. Let me tell ya, there was a lot of measuring, cutting and scoring on this card, but it is so awesome. Again cuttlebug for the embossing.

And the final look. Let me know what you think? I am very pleased with it. It took me about an hour to complete from start to finish

Thank you, Wayne and Lois

Some really good friends of ours brought me some clam chowder when I wasn't feeling well. Shhhh...don't tell them I don't like clam chowder. These two people are so thoughtful and are always around to help out, listen when needed and are good friends. Victor helps them at their house and since Victor has been gone from home they come over and help me with the yard or snow blowing the driveway. You just can't get friends like this anymore. So, to thank them for all they have done for me and to show them how much I appreciated their friendship I made the following thank you card.

I colored her with my copic markers and glazed the eggs in her basket. I also used stickles on her ruffle and the ruffle on her sleeve. Added a few pearls and it's done. The following picture is of the inside. I just added a strip of paper at the bottom and added some buttons. I think this turned out really cute.

Then to top it off I put just a little square on the envelope, added some buttons and off it went to Wayne and Lois. This was my official second card and I am delighted in how it turned out.

Happy Birthday Moe!

My step-father's birthday is today and I finished his birthday card yesterday, so it will be a bit late, but I think he will be ok with it.

I love making cards for people and this is one of the cards that I just really love how it turned out. Several years ago I had bought some cardstock off of QVC that was stick and peel. I loved this combination of solids with coordinating dots and it fit perfectly for a man's card.

I used the Crop-a-Dile II Big Bite for the grommets and I goofed up on one of them, but I'm ok with that. I really only cut and layered the cardstock the way I wanted it, stamped Happy Birthday and then I had white rub-on's saying Happy Birthday and I just love how those turned out. The inside of the card needs decorating also, so I took this picture of him last summer when I was in Kentucky for 2 months. I thought it was perfect for his birthday card. I distressed the picture by sanding it to give it a worn look and I think it turned out nicely. I printed the sentiment from my computer and attached it to the cardstock.

My confidence is growing each time I do a card. My next card is a thank you for some friends who brought me dinner while I was sick. I can't wait to show you what I come up with.

Happy Birthday Moe!

Camillas Magnolia "Candy"

Over at Camilla's Magnolia Kort is a great "candy giveaway". In celebration of her 2nd birthday as a Magnolia Design Team Member. She will be giving away the stamp for this adorable girl, a tip, half-beads and flowers. You don't want to miss this one! What you need to do to enter is click on the link to her blog and follow her instructions on how to enter. Good Luck!

Victoria Case Stamps Giveaway

I love, love, love giveaways and right now over at Victoria Case Stamps is giving away a great giveaway. They are getting ready to release a brand new collections called Aurora Collection, which are exclusive stamps from SCACD. All you need to do to enter is go to Victoria Case Stamps and follow the directions on her blog on how to enter. I've entered, will you?

Man-vs-Food

About a year or so ago the popular show Man-vs-Food came to Columbus and showcased three local restaurants with enormus size portions all with a 30 minute challenge to complete the challenge. So over the Christmas Holiday while Victor was home on vacation we decided to hit one of the spots and have him try the "Dagwood" challenge.

We went to the Ohio Deli and Restaurant just a bit south of Columbus and it is basically a building, but looks like a hole in the wall. It was in an industrial area and Victor was a bit scared to get out...he gets that way sometimes.

The "Dagwood" is a 2.5 pound sandwich piled high with Ham, Turkey and Roast Beef. Then it's topped with american and swiss cheese. Add in the garlic mayo sauce (very yummy), lettuce tomato and onion. Don't forget the pickle spear and 1 pound of french fries. Once all of that is piled on one another the sandwich measures 5.5" high, you have 30 minutes to get it ALL finished. The winner receives a T-Shirt and their picture on the "Dagwood Wall of Fame".

Here are the pictures of Victor trying to defeat the "Dagwood"

Are you ready? I hope you're hungry.

Being funny


Half of the sandwich

See my plate, empty. See Victor's...a long way to go.

Go Victor...Go Victor

Don't eat your fries with a fork, just shove them in.

I NEED a drink

The "Dagwood" defeated Victor, this is what left.

He made a valiant effort and we had a good time. It was the bread and fries that killed him. If he had 5 more minutes he would of won, but he just couldn't do it. I was proud of him anyway and it was a great memory. We could of bought a T-Shirt that said "The Dagwood beat my ***", but we declined.

There is another restaurant by OSU that we might try later on. They have whats called the "Thurman Burger". It's a monster. So, if you're ever in Columbus, Ohio I recommend the Ohio Deli and Restaurant. They have very good food, fresh and a delightful atomsphere. Even you don't eat the "Dagwood", it's a great place to eat.

Free Fonts

While reading my favorite blogs I came across this website called dafont. The fonts are amazing and they are totally free. Check it out!

Remember Lot's Wife....Part III

After my new found knowledge and strength I decided to make a reminder for myself to always "Remember Lot's Wife". So, out the cricut came again and this is what it turned out like.

I'm not real happy with keeping the wording straight, but off the cuff is isn't bad. It now sits on my fireplace mantle in the family room and I will now never forget Lot's wife.

Jelly Belly's

I'm a bit late with this Christmas present for my oldest daughter, but it's ok, she'll have Christmas in January. Meagan loves Jelly Belly's and her favorite flavor is Pear, that happens to be my favorite flavor also. Over the summer I found this Jelly Belly machine at a yard sale for $2.00. I thought it would make a great Christmas present filled with her favorite Jelly Belly.

Somehow I wanted to personalized it so I took out my Cricut Expression and personalized it.

I cut her name out in gold vinyl and then cut out in bigger letters and a different font "Hands Off!" I think it turned out pretty darn cute. Here is the final result.

Remember Lot’s Wife….Part II

During the Holiday e-mail rush I received an e-mail from a friend who forwarded another e-mail from another friend. This particular e-mail was about a family's motto. I wished I had saved the e-mail but I didn't. But it had your traditional family mottos, like pray, be respectful etc. The third or fourth item (there were only 5) said "Remember Lot's Wife". That struck me like lightning and I thought how odd for this family to have that as one of their motto. It bugged me all day long and most into the night. I'm a bit rusty on the Old Testament so I got out my Bible and started reading the story of Lot and his wife.

As you may recall, Lot was the nephew of Abraham and their families lived close to each other, but then their flocks became too large and they needed to move apart to give their flocks more room. Abraham gave Lot his choice and he chose a place near Sodom and Gomorrah. As we all know the story of Sodom and Gomorrah Lot was warned about the pending doom to fall of the cities. The angel who warned them told them to go quickly and DON'T LOOK BACK. As they were leaving the city the fire storm started to destroy the cities and Lot's wife looked back and became a "Pillar of Salt".

So, as I studied this further it confused me as to what a "Pillar of Salt" meant. Remember, I am rusty. So, I studied my scriptures more and found it to mean that she was killed instantly and became salt. Pretty literal, huh? I was satisfied, but still baffled why this family used this. I pondered it more and the key was the phrase Don't look back. I really had to open myself up and really think how that applied in my life and the answers I had been seeking, without knowing it, came at me like a tidal wave.

Suddenly, depression, confusion, anger, betrayal all seemed to wash away with the water. I received a personal revelation that I only know the magnitude of. It was a profound experience and I have not taken it lightly. I started applying those three simple words "DON'T LOOK BACK" in my life and I realized just how bad I was really needing this message. The Lord was directly telling me not to look back and that meant at a lot of things. Don't look back at mistakes, harmful words, arguments, and don't look back on the past. What was killing me was the very same thing that killed Lot's wife. I couldn't stop looking back.

I have not turned into a pillar of salt; the message came just at the right time. I think of this message every single day and I cannot express enough how much this has impacted my life. It has been a huge change and believe it or not, it was very simple. My first 17 years were horrible and I never let it go, neither did I let go of the pain and anger. The 20 years I was married was a lifetime to me and those are all the years I raised my family. I will still reflect on the kid's childhoods with fond memories, but trying to keep them still little and killing myself over it is over. I have learned that they are all adults now with children of their own and it's my time to take care of me. I'm not saying I stop caring, loving, worrying or communicating with me. I'm saying I have let go and have accepted my Empty Nester stage in my life.

I did one thing that opened my eyes up during the Christmas buying season. I had decided that Brian and Mallory needed to start their own family tradition at Christmas because they both have new daughters. I wanted them to grow up with the rich traditions that Brian and Mallory did. So, I set out and bought what I thought would be cool traditions. I called Mallory and asked her out of the two which one she would like and her comment really shocked me and actually hurt my feelings. She basically said what if she doesn't want to have a tradition and what if she didn't like what I got and wanted to do a different one? I was speechless! After thinking about it, she was right. Those traditions we had as a family were precious and if the kids want to continue them on their own then that is their choice. But, who am I to pick a tradition and say this is what you are going to do. See, I told you I didn't want to let go. I created this whole mess for myself, by myself.

However, lessons learned are a good thing and I am happy to say that as the New Year started so did my life. A life as an empty nester, a life filled with amazement at the future and a life not looking back. I am at peace and I will always remember Lot's wife.

Pink Gem Giveaway

Today I'm all about giveaways, can't you tell? Here is another great giveaway from Pink Gem Janet.
In this giveaway the winner will receive 6 Pink Gem Design stamps of your choice. You have until January 18th, 2010 to enter this one. Good Luck!

Crafty Fox Card Giveaway

Hello Friends:


If you are a crafter of any type you will love this giveway from Crafty Fox Cards. She is giving away this great set and it expires on 1/16/2010.

Remember Lot’s Wife…Part I

Remember Lot's Wife...Part I

Christmas for me this year was hard, in fact, it's been hard for many years but I always push it under, smile and pretend everything is OK. This year for some reason I couldn't do that, or I didn't want to, I'm not sure.

I've been having a pity party for myself for some time now and I've been feeling left out, alone and betrayed. I have not come to full terms of being an empty nester and each year during the holidays I pray it gets better, but it only seems to get worse. I suppose this year has been worse because of my two new granddaughters and the fact that I can't be with them and share in this season of joy with them.

Growing up Christmas was one of my few happy times. My adopted Dad always made Christmas special for me and we had great family traditions that I loved and treasured, even still. As my kids were growing up I also had strong traditions with them and I loved making Christmas special for them each and every year. Such fun traditions as reading The Polar Express on Christmas Eve and each child getting a new pair of pajamas. Building and having the Christmas village bring joy and excitement in their eyes was always a cherished memory. I always coded their gifts so they wouldn't know who got what and I have precious memories of years of whining about codes on the presents. Something now I know they look back and have very fond memories of that.

We always spent Christmas Eve with their Dad's family and Christmas Day with my family. That was the way it was up until their Dad and I divorced. I miss those times so very much and sometimes I wish I could step back in time and change so many things, but I can't. Christmas hasn't ever been the same for me since. I've gone a few years without even having a Christmas tree and one year I was all alone and shopped at Wal-Mart and ate at McDonald's on Christmas Day.

When I met my sweet Victor things changed for me a little because he never had Christmas traditions and he had just the opposite memories of Christmas. The first year we were together I decked out the house from top to bottom and made Christmas extra special for him. I did the same for him the second and third year, but the past 3 Christmas's I have done nothing. We haven't even had a tree.

One year we went to Florida for Christmas, so I didn't see a need to decorate, which normally takes me 5-7 days to do what I do best, decorate. The second year without a Christmas we spent in Michigan with his family, so I didn't see a need to put up a tree then either. This year my heartaches and bleeds for the days gone by. The years I had with the kids, the love and tenderness I spent in making this a special time for them.

I asked Victor if we can go away for Christmas. I didn't want to be home; I couldn't bare the painful memories and just really wished the whole season wouldn't exist. When I thought of my kids surrounded by their Dad and his family I felt sick, I felt that part of me that is missing and that part I loved so dearly. I thought to myself that I should be there, that life shouldn't have dealt me that horrible card, but it did, so now what do I do.

I suppose, I could've sat there and bawled and feel sorry for myself or I could turn it around. Was I ready? NO! Did I have to? YES! I thought to myself that I would do it for Victor and make his Christmas special, but it didn't feel the same. It's wasn't motive enough for me to do it. Then I thought that I needed to do it for myself. WOW, what a concept. When in my life have I ever done anything for myself?

I always made Christmas special for others and in turn I loved it because I made other's heart warm and made special memories for them. After my divorce I sold my Christmas Village that I had been collecting for 25 years. I wanted nothing to do with it anymore and so I thought by getting rid of it I would also release the pain and agony of being alone at Christmas. It didn't work. When I met Victor one of the things he has done for me is try and rebuild my Christmas Village and since we have been married I have only put it up just one time. It doesn't feel the same, it's not "our" tradition, it's my first family tradition and it seemed I didn't want to share it with Victor.

But, I've sat alone one evening for 6 hours watching sappy Christmas movies and I was thinking….. Why do I have to do it for others? Why can't I do it for myself? I was a kid before I was a mother and the Christmas Village I grew up with that my Adopted Dad did for me was my favorite Christmas Memory. So, why should it be different now? It shouldn't!

So, I tried to put the Christmas' past in the past and create Christmas for me and also for Victor, but for me mainly. I needed to stop feeling sorry for myself and reflect on what I am grateful for and what truly matters at Christmas and that is the birth of our Savior. His gift of sacrificing love for ALL of his children. How could I be so selfish? How could I be so ungrateful? How come I forgot the true meaning of Christmas? I didn't have the answers, but I did know that this bah humbug was been transformed and even though Christmas' past still haunted my memories, I knew that new memories would be just as treasured and eventually the old memories wouldn't hurt so badly. So, in the Christmas spirit I set out and decorated the house (not top to bottom) and made it warm and cozy for ME and for my loving Husband.

I have learned many other valuable lessons which will come in part two. Stay Tuned!

Pictures: Starting from the top. 1. Me and the tree, Christmas 1968. 2. I was about 13 in this picture. 3. One of the villages I put up for the kids. 4. Another one of the villages I put up. 5. This was the village I put up for Victor. This was the first year in our home together in Ohio.

Valium or Tomato Juice?

Today I traveled today from Columbus, Ohio to San Diego and these were my most memorable moments. Enjoy and when you’re done reading please leave a comment on your most memorable airplane moment.

1. If you must wear a bottle of perfume or cologne then expect me to glare at you the entire flight and possibly spill my tomato juice all over you to make you smell a little better.

2. I do not care what your sexual orientation is, but DO NOT share your personal sexual desires, pleasures and favorite positions. I may not be a virgin, but my ears are and some of the things you mentioned seemed impossible to me…

3. DO NOT take speed when you have a 5am flight to catch an across the country. The entire plane is sleeping, except for you and I am getting annoyed. The valium I brought for myself is all yours…please take the whole bottle. Calling you the energizer bunny would be a compliment, how many did you say you took?

4. Since you took massive amounts of speed this morning, DO NOT order several rounds of tequila! Please show me where the parachutes are!

5. Must you bring your pet onboard? He may be cute, but his poop sure does stink. I need another can of tomato juice please!

6. Babies, Babies and more babies. Can they take valium?

7. I am overweight, but when you have to get a seat belt extension and you take up my seat as well as yours, please buy a ticket for two seats. I don’t enjoy rubbing fat with you. Darn the valium won’t help here!

8. DO NOT talk about a flight that crashed. I gave all my valium away and I can’t take anymore stress.

9. Please DO NOT help me with my sudoku puzzle. The valium isn’t working on speedy, the pet still stinks, the babies are still crying, the perfume lady still stinks like perfume with a slight tomato smell, I’m squished by your blubber and you just mentioned airplanes crashing. I can’t get out of my seat to get to the parachute and my sudoku puzzle is my last option to remain sane.

10. Was that you who just passed gas? If it was you need to see a doctor. Whatever you consumed was not edible and has died in your intestinal track. Tomato juice or valium won’t help you…so Please DO NOT do it again or I may have to vomit on you.

11. I’ve saved the best for last….DO. NOT. Announce to the entire plane that you have swine flu! Is it legal to allow a person with swine flu on the plane? If it is, screw the tomato juice and valium, he can have my parachute and I’ll risk my life by gladly pushing him out the door!

I'm still here!

Friends,
It has truly been way to long since my last post. My life turned into a tornado mid July and I am just now seeing daylight. I’ve cleared up most of the damage and I’m glad that clear skies are shining again.

First, let me say I. Am. Alive. Since the middle of July I’ve been home in Columbus a whole 5 days and except for the past 2 weeks I haven’t had any internet connection. I nearly went out of my mind! But, I survived and now I’m back with some renewed energy and new hope for the future. Here is an update.

Little Sophie (Mallory’s daughter) was put in the hospital sometime the middle of June (I can’t remember the exact date) for semolina poisoning and meningitis. The meningitis stemmed from the semolina which gave her seizures and eventually a small stroke. The semolina came from a strain in Beaverton, Oregon but we will never know where she got that from. To make a very long story short…She is a miracle! She had 2 brain surgeries, was put into a drug induced coma and was in the hospital for a month. Today she is showing some small signs of her trauma and the extent of brain damage will not be known until she gets older. She is healthy, smiling, kicking and being the perfect little angel God intended her to be. She does now have to take anti-seizure medication which makes her very sleepy, but other than that she is perfect! For those who knew this was going on, thank you for your prayers!

So, then I jumped from that into the money pit. Have you ever seen the movie Money Pit with Tom Hanks? If you haven’t you should rent it because it is very funny and mimic’s my life from mid-July to mid-September.

We have rental property in Kentucky, 8 units total, a 6-plex and a duplex. Because we live in Ohio and Victor works in Virginia we have had property managers running the places for us. Since we left Kentucky 3 years ago we went through 4 property managers and were on our 5th one when I arrived unannounced the 20th of July. He lasted 3 days and then he quit, which was good for him because he was going to be fired real HARD and I was more than ready to do it.

When I arrived out of the 8 units 6 were vacant. During the term of the 3rd property manager there was a major water leak and caused damage to the entire 6-plex. We were not notified until property manager 5 came on board, which we set repairs in motion ASAP. However, it seemed we kept getting the run around why it wasn’t getting done and they needed more and more money. This went on for 3 months and then finally Victor had enough and dispatched me to take charge.

When I arrived I was speechless! We had been told it’s almost done over and over again and that other things that were in need of repair were already done. Since we had 6 empty units we were told they were all cleaned, painted and carpets shampooed….NOT! Not a single unit had been touched, except for one unit that had the floor ripped up to repair the sub-flooring. I simply walked innocently into a hornet’s nest and what was supposed to be a week trip turned into 3 months.

On top of that entire nightmare we discovered illegal and unethical practices were being done by the current property manager and money had been stolen and invoices were inflated. Some of the previous property managers were fired for that exact same reason. I suppose they think when the owner’s live out of the state they can take advantage of you and they sure did.

We have learned many lessons from this. One huge one was that we didn’t make periodic trips to Kentucky to check on things. We put our trust into those we hired and that will never happen again. For one, we still haven’t hired a new property manager and won’t. I am running it long distance and have proved to be challenging, but I go there about every 2 weeks checking on things, at least for the time being.

Out of the 6 empty units we had, we now have only 2. The units now look like they did 5 years ago when they were brand new, although it cost around $50,000 to get all that needed to be done completed and correctly. We now have very good tenants in there and not trouble makers that previous property manager put in there. We had one tenant that one property manager put in…I kid you not…who had a python and was breeding cats and feeding the kittens to the python. We have a no pet policy…..I guess they felt a python wasn’t a pet and neither were the cats since they were being eaten ALIVE!!!! H.E.L.L.O

So, I made it home to Columbus for 5 days and then had to go back to Kentucky and from there I came to Virginia where I have been now for about 3 weeks. We’ve gone back to Kentucky once since we have been back in Virginia. I really don’t remember what my home looks like anymore. People ask me where I live and I tell them the Bermuda Triangle. Somewhere between Ohio, Kentucky and Virginia.

Other noteworthy news is Brian’s baby, Emma, is overdue and if she doesn’t come by Friday then they are going to induce labor. Brian left for field training this morning and will be gone for 3 weeks, so he will miss the birth. I fly out the 4th of November to see him and Emma in San Diego and I can’t wait! I haven’t seen Brian since before he left for Iraq and that’s almost 2 years now. It’s been way to long.

So, that’s it in a nutshell. I can now start posting new posts about current events and there is one coming up on Immaturity which I’m sure you will love. Shout me comments and let me know your still there!

Random Question of the Week

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE SEASON?

My favorite season is Fall. I love the crisp air and how it feels in my lungs to breath such clean crisp air. It feels like my body is rejuvenating with each breath I take.

I love all the gorgeous colors of Fall. Living on the East Coast we get quite a spectacular palette of oranges, reds, yellows and browns. I have always wanted to travel to Vermont to see the leaves change, but I have never had that opportunity. Still, living in Ohio we get an amazing show of colors.

Along with colors, I love watching the leaves fall off of the trees as they bounce and sway to the ground. I have a forest in my backyard and every year we get such a treat. I will sit and gaze out my picture window for a long time reading a good book, fire and watching the leaves fall ever so gently to the ground. It feels like things are calming down and things are getting into place for a long winter's nap.

I love all the harvest festivals that are everywhere. When I was living in Portland (37 years), we would always take the kids to Hood River (in the Columbia River Gorge) every 3rd weekend in October for the annual harvest festival. There we would get boxes of freshly picked apples and go home and make applesauce and pies. I did the pies only one year and I don't know why I didn't do it more, because freezing homemade apple pies were the best.

I love the fun of Halloween and all the kids get to be creative and dress up. I love carving pumpkins, passing out candy and watching the joy on my kids face as they came home with pillowcases full of candy.

I simple love FALL! Now, tell me which season is your favorite.

Widdle-A-Way

Last week at our neighborhood garage sale I snagged a deal on a treadmill. I hit the neighborhood hard and by the time I got to the treadmill sale I had already spent my budget, but I still looked at it very seriously and asked a bunch of questions. I left the sale discouraged because I have wanted a treadmill for years and this one was $50.00, worked and was in good condition. I went home and decided to go ahead and buy it anyway. I went back and bought it and arranged for Victor to pick it up the next day. I was so excited!

Victor picked it up the next day which proved to be a challenge since the truck is in Virginia, but they were very helpful by helping Victor get it home by using their van. It now sits nicely in my basement and the best part is I’VE BEEN USING IT! Hooray to me! I feel like a turtle using it because I’ve only been able to do 1 mile at a time and that takes me 30 minutes. That hasn’t discouraged me and I keep walking away. I am loving it! I love having this gem in my home now. Going outside and walking in the neighborhood bothered me because I am so self-conscious of my weight and my breasts jiggle more than my butt. That’s no lie….So now I can exercise in the comfort and privacy of my home and that is exactly how I wanted it.

So, today’s weigh in was 219 and I expect it to start going down more evenly and steadily now that I am exercising.

CVS Trip 6/23/2009

My trip to CVS today was my best coupon day ever! I bought 3 Kraft BBQ Sauce, 1 Frank's Hot Sauce, 4 SoyJoy Bars, 2 bottles of Tylenol and 2 Thermacare Heat Wraps. The total before coupons was $30.48. After the coupons I used and the ECB's my total was $.53 cents. I then got $12.98 back in ECB's so I made $12.45 on this trip. I LOVE CVS shopping.

Happy Father's Day....Part II

Today I honor my father who I never had the chance to see or meet. My father has always been my protector throughout my entire life, even while I was in uterine. When my mother and father learned they were pregnant my father knew that they had to run away to be able to keep me. A plan was in place and one dark night they took off for unknown territory.

Their destination was Idaho where they could of gotten married, but when they arrived all they needed was a note from both of their parents giving permission for the marriage. They didn't have that and my father said that if he had known they needed that he would of forged one. From there they headed to Reno/Las Vegas to get married. They had a road trip fit for hollywood, with robbing liquor stores, stealing cars and sleeping in neighborhoods in their car.

When they arrived in Nevada they also learned tha they couldn't get married. A bit distraught at the dim news my father remembered that his cousin was coming in on a navy ship in San Diego in a few days. He knew that his friend would help them get married. So, off to San Diego they went. Their trip was hard. My mother was early in her pregnancy and not feeling the greatest. They had little money and hardly no food, but they were determined to save their little family and ME.

When they arrived in San Diego they had a few days until his cousin's ship came in and so my Dad decided that he was going to take my Mom and ME to disneyland. He had robbed a liquor store to get the money and his beloved Slow Gin. I can imagine at how glorious their day at Disneyland was. For one day they had no worries, no fears and were able to be the kids they were and enjoy the time together. When I heard this story I was so moved by this gesture of my father to provide my mother with some relief and fun. I was also struct with the thought that that was one of the last times we were all together.

The next day the cousin arrived and he did indeed agree to help them. He was having a party at his house that night and told them to come over and get some food and rest. They went and stayed for a little bit, but my mom was uncomfortable being there and she wasn't feeling the best either. So they left for their nightly routine. My father felt it was safer to sleep in safe, quiet neighborhoods and this night was no exception. He drove to a nearby neighborhood and parked the car like he usually did and they went to sleep. They were awoke in the night by a policeman asking about what they were doing. Many questions later they were taken into custody and taken to jail. One tiny mistake changed the course of all three of us forever. He parked on a one way street the wrong way.

They were in the LA area for many months until the police, feds and parents decided what to do with them. They were finally sent home to Washington and that was the last time we were all together. My father still instilled in my mother that it will be ok and he will figure something out to save his treasured family, but the system and parents sealed our fate.

In the end my father was shipped to live with an aunt in Idaho and was not allowed contact with my mother. The months were agonizing for both of them, but my mom held onto the hope that when I was born my father would return and they would be able to figure out what to do. My mother never heard from him again, letters were intercepted and after months of being worn down by my grandmother my mother had no other option then to give me up.

After I was born and adopted my father was allowed to come back to Washington. Upon his arrival he tried to find us, but he was told that I had died at birth. To this very minute my heart breaks at how devastated my beloved father felt. My mother had been married away and sent to Kentucky and I had died. He had no one left and he was inconsolable.

Not much is known about my father after that, but a few bits and pieces. He quickly got married and I believe had 3 replacement children. He turned into a hard alcoholic and in 1974 (I was 10) he committed suicide. It is my belief that he was so tormented by the loss of my mother and me that he just couldn't exist any longer. He was going through a divorce at the time and I can relate to his despair because I have been at that same very spot several times.

My abuse started when I was 9 and my dad died a year later very close to my birthday. I think that the reason I never wanted to find him was because I knew deep inside he wasn't there. He was never even a thought to me and I believe that's because he had died. I know with a certainty that he has been my guardian angel and protected me from my terrors in the night. He watched over me and still does to this day. I feel him around me daily and I KNOW he is with me. His picture is the only one I have on my night stand and when I travel he goes with me.

When my mother and I were reunited she looked up my dad's family and went and talked with them. They still thought I had died and were shocked in the new discovery of their niece. They were excited, but you can imagine the shock. My uncle was so kind in giving my mother pictures of dad and gave her 3 of my father's favorite Elvis albums. Those albums are my most precious possessions. I have gotten bit's and pieces of my father over the years and everything I learn or receive I treasure it.

My father's passion was music and he LOVED Elvis. He would sing to my mother, play the guitar and sing to me. Music was his release, just like it is to me. I received this gift from my father and I treat it like a fabrege egg, priceless. I love how he is apart of me and the things in me that are like him. I love my dad.

Today on Father's Day I just want to say to my daddy that I love you and thank you for being my daddy and loving me in a way only a father can love. You are my hero and I look forward to the day when we can be together again. I love you! Your little Beth.