Valium or Tomato Juice?

Today I traveled today from Columbus, Ohio to San Diego and these were my most memorable moments. Enjoy and when you’re done reading please leave a comment on your most memorable airplane moment.

1. If you must wear a bottle of perfume or cologne then expect me to glare at you the entire flight and possibly spill my tomato juice all over you to make you smell a little better.

2. I do not care what your sexual orientation is, but DO NOT share your personal sexual desires, pleasures and favorite positions. I may not be a virgin, but my ears are and some of the things you mentioned seemed impossible to me…

3. DO NOT take speed when you have a 5am flight to catch an across the country. The entire plane is sleeping, except for you and I am getting annoyed. The valium I brought for myself is all yours…please take the whole bottle. Calling you the energizer bunny would be a compliment, how many did you say you took?

4. Since you took massive amounts of speed this morning, DO NOT order several rounds of tequila! Please show me where the parachutes are!

5. Must you bring your pet onboard? He may be cute, but his poop sure does stink. I need another can of tomato juice please!

6. Babies, Babies and more babies. Can they take valium?

7. I am overweight, but when you have to get a seat belt extension and you take up my seat as well as yours, please buy a ticket for two seats. I don’t enjoy rubbing fat with you. Darn the valium won’t help here!

8. DO NOT talk about a flight that crashed. I gave all my valium away and I can’t take anymore stress.

9. Please DO NOT help me with my sudoku puzzle. The valium isn’t working on speedy, the pet still stinks, the babies are still crying, the perfume lady still stinks like perfume with a slight tomato smell, I’m squished by your blubber and you just mentioned airplanes crashing. I can’t get out of my seat to get to the parachute and my sudoku puzzle is my last option to remain sane.

10. Was that you who just passed gas? If it was you need to see a doctor. Whatever you consumed was not edible and has died in your intestinal track. Tomato juice or valium won’t help you…so Please DO NOT do it again or I may have to vomit on you.

11. I’ve saved the best for last….DO. NOT. Announce to the entire plane that you have swine flu! Is it legal to allow a person with swine flu on the plane? If it is, screw the tomato juice and valium, he can have my parachute and I’ll risk my life by gladly pushing him out the door!

I'm still here!

Friends,
It has truly been way to long since my last post. My life turned into a tornado mid July and I am just now seeing daylight. I’ve cleared up most of the damage and I’m glad that clear skies are shining again.

First, let me say I. Am. Alive. Since the middle of July I’ve been home in Columbus a whole 5 days and except for the past 2 weeks I haven’t had any internet connection. I nearly went out of my mind! But, I survived and now I’m back with some renewed energy and new hope for the future. Here is an update.

Little Sophie (Mallory’s daughter) was put in the hospital sometime the middle of June (I can’t remember the exact date) for semolina poisoning and meningitis. The meningitis stemmed from the semolina which gave her seizures and eventually a small stroke. The semolina came from a strain in Beaverton, Oregon but we will never know where she got that from. To make a very long story short…She is a miracle! She had 2 brain surgeries, was put into a drug induced coma and was in the hospital for a month. Today she is showing some small signs of her trauma and the extent of brain damage will not be known until she gets older. She is healthy, smiling, kicking and being the perfect little angel God intended her to be. She does now have to take anti-seizure medication which makes her very sleepy, but other than that she is perfect! For those who knew this was going on, thank you for your prayers!

So, then I jumped from that into the money pit. Have you ever seen the movie Money Pit with Tom Hanks? If you haven’t you should rent it because it is very funny and mimic’s my life from mid-July to mid-September.

We have rental property in Kentucky, 8 units total, a 6-plex and a duplex. Because we live in Ohio and Victor works in Virginia we have had property managers running the places for us. Since we left Kentucky 3 years ago we went through 4 property managers and were on our 5th one when I arrived unannounced the 20th of July. He lasted 3 days and then he quit, which was good for him because he was going to be fired real HARD and I was more than ready to do it.

When I arrived out of the 8 units 6 were vacant. During the term of the 3rd property manager there was a major water leak and caused damage to the entire 6-plex. We were not notified until property manager 5 came on board, which we set repairs in motion ASAP. However, it seemed we kept getting the run around why it wasn’t getting done and they needed more and more money. This went on for 3 months and then finally Victor had enough and dispatched me to take charge.

When I arrived I was speechless! We had been told it’s almost done over and over again and that other things that were in need of repair were already done. Since we had 6 empty units we were told they were all cleaned, painted and carpets shampooed….NOT! Not a single unit had been touched, except for one unit that had the floor ripped up to repair the sub-flooring. I simply walked innocently into a hornet’s nest and what was supposed to be a week trip turned into 3 months.

On top of that entire nightmare we discovered illegal and unethical practices were being done by the current property manager and money had been stolen and invoices were inflated. Some of the previous property managers were fired for that exact same reason. I suppose they think when the owner’s live out of the state they can take advantage of you and they sure did.

We have learned many lessons from this. One huge one was that we didn’t make periodic trips to Kentucky to check on things. We put our trust into those we hired and that will never happen again. For one, we still haven’t hired a new property manager and won’t. I am running it long distance and have proved to be challenging, but I go there about every 2 weeks checking on things, at least for the time being.

Out of the 6 empty units we had, we now have only 2. The units now look like they did 5 years ago when they were brand new, although it cost around $50,000 to get all that needed to be done completed and correctly. We now have very good tenants in there and not trouble makers that previous property manager put in there. We had one tenant that one property manager put in…I kid you not…who had a python and was breeding cats and feeding the kittens to the python. We have a no pet policy…..I guess they felt a python wasn’t a pet and neither were the cats since they were being eaten ALIVE!!!! H.E.L.L.O

So, I made it home to Columbus for 5 days and then had to go back to Kentucky and from there I came to Virginia where I have been now for about 3 weeks. We’ve gone back to Kentucky once since we have been back in Virginia. I really don’t remember what my home looks like anymore. People ask me where I live and I tell them the Bermuda Triangle. Somewhere between Ohio, Kentucky and Virginia.

Other noteworthy news is Brian’s baby, Emma, is overdue and if she doesn’t come by Friday then they are going to induce labor. Brian left for field training this morning and will be gone for 3 weeks, so he will miss the birth. I fly out the 4th of November to see him and Emma in San Diego and I can’t wait! I haven’t seen Brian since before he left for Iraq and that’s almost 2 years now. It’s been way to long.

So, that’s it in a nutshell. I can now start posting new posts about current events and there is one coming up on Immaturity which I’m sure you will love. Shout me comments and let me know your still there!

Random Question of the Week

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE SEASON?

My favorite season is Fall. I love the crisp air and how it feels in my lungs to breath such clean crisp air. It feels like my body is rejuvenating with each breath I take.

I love all the gorgeous colors of Fall. Living on the East Coast we get quite a spectacular palette of oranges, reds, yellows and browns. I have always wanted to travel to Vermont to see the leaves change, but I have never had that opportunity. Still, living in Ohio we get an amazing show of colors.

Along with colors, I love watching the leaves fall off of the trees as they bounce and sway to the ground. I have a forest in my backyard and every year we get such a treat. I will sit and gaze out my picture window for a long time reading a good book, fire and watching the leaves fall ever so gently to the ground. It feels like things are calming down and things are getting into place for a long winter's nap.

I love all the harvest festivals that are everywhere. When I was living in Portland (37 years), we would always take the kids to Hood River (in the Columbia River Gorge) every 3rd weekend in October for the annual harvest festival. There we would get boxes of freshly picked apples and go home and make applesauce and pies. I did the pies only one year and I don't know why I didn't do it more, because freezing homemade apple pies were the best.

I love the fun of Halloween and all the kids get to be creative and dress up. I love carving pumpkins, passing out candy and watching the joy on my kids face as they came home with pillowcases full of candy.

I simple love FALL! Now, tell me which season is your favorite.

Widdle-A-Way

Last week at our neighborhood garage sale I snagged a deal on a treadmill. I hit the neighborhood hard and by the time I got to the treadmill sale I had already spent my budget, but I still looked at it very seriously and asked a bunch of questions. I left the sale discouraged because I have wanted a treadmill for years and this one was $50.00, worked and was in good condition. I went home and decided to go ahead and buy it anyway. I went back and bought it and arranged for Victor to pick it up the next day. I was so excited!

Victor picked it up the next day which proved to be a challenge since the truck is in Virginia, but they were very helpful by helping Victor get it home by using their van. It now sits nicely in my basement and the best part is I’VE BEEN USING IT! Hooray to me! I feel like a turtle using it because I’ve only been able to do 1 mile at a time and that takes me 30 minutes. That hasn’t discouraged me and I keep walking away. I am loving it! I love having this gem in my home now. Going outside and walking in the neighborhood bothered me because I am so self-conscious of my weight and my breasts jiggle more than my butt. That’s no lie….So now I can exercise in the comfort and privacy of my home and that is exactly how I wanted it.

So, today’s weigh in was 219 and I expect it to start going down more evenly and steadily now that I am exercising.

CVS Trip 6/23/2009

My trip to CVS today was my best coupon day ever! I bought 3 Kraft BBQ Sauce, 1 Frank's Hot Sauce, 4 SoyJoy Bars, 2 bottles of Tylenol and 2 Thermacare Heat Wraps. The total before coupons was $30.48. After the coupons I used and the ECB's my total was $.53 cents. I then got $12.98 back in ECB's so I made $12.45 on this trip. I LOVE CVS shopping.