Wax, nair, tweeze, pull, pluck, wax, nair, shave, wax, SCREAM! Tweeze again and shave again....Oh, did you say no shaving? Oh that's right, they say shaving brings back more hair the next time. Hey, I have news for you....tweezing does the same thing. I don't care what I use to remove my gastly facial hair, I now need a lawnmower to trim the beautiful growth I have now.
I have the fine ones, the gray ones, the coarse black ones (I hate these the most), the tiny baby hairs that you can't get with anything, the fuzzy hair, the white ones, the kind ones that lay flat on my face and those obnoxious ones that like to stand erect for all the world to see.
I have sideburns...Yes, I said sideburns. Just like your imagining, on the side of my face like a MAN's. Shaved those one time....BIG MISTAKE! I haven't figured out how to get rid of these and love to wear my hair back, but lately I wear it around my face to hide my new, ugly friend.
I have tried it all and my poor neck/chin/face/eyebrows have suffered so much pain...PAIN! What about the disgrace I feel every single day living with such horrible critters on my face? I love that numb, frozen feeling you get after waxing your upper lip. You know the one, right? Sure, it's smooth (after you tweeze the ones away that it missed), but it's red, swollen and you feel like a dentist just did a number on it with his friend, Novocaine.
Waxes and creams? What are these things made out of? Have you heard of allergic reaction? Yep, that's me. Sure it removed my hair, but also made me look like a red blowfish. Sure, it last's longer, but so does an allergic reaction that leaves your face red for the entire month the hair was gone. Plus, have you ever gotten one of those creams, accidently of course, in your mouth. Hmmmm....love the taste and the sour stomach.
So, you finally grasp that one hair and pull. If you pull lightly you will lose it again. So, you must pull slow, steady and fast. WOW, is this an olympic sport? You finally found the hair, managed to pull it out, and only to see that there is no white, slimy mold at the end of your hair. heavy sigh....That one will come back!
You don't give up, you try again and you try again. You try so many times that you feel so defeated and depressed. You gather enough strength to try just one more time and YOU GET IT!!!! Congratulations, you just got one hair by the root that will not grow back as fast, but you've cultivated about a hundred others in the process.
Someone help! Is there help out there for women in need like me? I have one thing left...Laser hair removal. Maybe when I win the lottery, which I don't play, I can have my entire face lasered and be free from facial hair forever. Until, then I shave, cream, wax, SCREAM!, tweeze, pull, nair, shave, cream, tweeze and tweeze and tweeze some more!